Embryo transfer is one of the most emotionally charged moments in any surrogacy journey. It represents hope, anticipation, and the possibility of life. But what happens when it doesn't go as planned? As difficult as it is to talk about, embryo transfer failure is a very real part of the IVF process—and it happens more often than many people think.
Why Do Transfers Fail?
Even when everything seems perfect — a healthy embryo, a receptive uterus, and the right medical support — implantation isn't guaranteed. The process is influenced by many factors including embryo quality, uterine receptivity, and hormone levels. Other potential issues like immune system responses or underlying reproductive conditions may also play a role. Importantly, failure doesn’t mean the surrogate did anything wrong. In fact, the vast majority of failed transfers occur for reasons outside of anyone’s control.
In many journeys, the first embryo transfer does not succeed. That’s why most surrogacy contracts include plans for multiple transfer attempts. These contracts often allow for at least two or three tries, giving both the Intended Parents and the surrogate space to move forward without feeling defeated after a single setback.
Emotional Impact and Support
The emotional toll of a failed transfer can be significant. Surrogates invest not only their time and bodies but also their hearts into the process. Feeling disappointment, guilt, or even grief is completely natural. It's important for surrogates to know they’re not alone. Agencies typically provide access to therapists or support networks, and fellow surrogates often offer encouragement from their own experiences.
Some surrogates describe the post-transfer wait as emotionally exhausting — and when the outcome is negative, the feelings can be overwhelming. One of the best ways to cope is to allow space for those emotions. Talking openly with the agency, the intended parents (if appropriate), or a professional counselor can help process the experience and rebuild confidence for future steps.
What Comes Next?
Following a failed transfer, the fertility clinic will often review what happened. They may adjust medications, re-evaluate the embryo protocol, or look deeper into any medical concerns that could affect implantation. Sometimes the best next step is to take a break — both physically and emotionally — before trying again. Other times, the team may feel confident proceeding with another cycle right away.
In some cases, Intended Parents may decide to create new embryos, work with a different clinic, or consider a different surrogate. While these decisions can feel personal, they are often based on medical advice and practical planning. It’s crucial for the surrogate to receive clear communication and continued emotional support during these transitions.
Reframing Failure as Part of the Journey
Though the word "failure" feels harsh, many surrogates and Intended Parents come to view these early setbacks as part of the path — not a detour from it. IVF and surrogacy require resilience, and each step, even the painful ones, builds toward the ultimate goal.
A failed transfer does not mean your journey is over. Many successful surrogates have experienced one or more failed attempts before carrying a healthy baby to term. What matters most is being surrounded by compassionate care, trusted professionals, and the belief that another chance is coming.
Embryo transfer failure is heartbreaking — but it’s not the end. It is a pause, a moment to regroup, and then, with renewed strength, to continue forward.